This post comes on the heels of my latest version of I Am A Superwoman, shortly after reading The Pink Ghetto of Social Media and getting a little woozy over the topic of women in power. Having read Lean In and Girl Boss, and a slew of other books on having it all, it has left me thinking one thing – no matter how far we have come or how far we have to go, the Mean Girl has to go.
Macala, you are going into this piece with that statement? What no facts, no research, no grand intricately written piece – –that’s perhaps a little clearer?
No – they have been written. I am hear to talk about Mean Girls. I am not talking the kittens found in cheesy Lindsay Lohan movies with Tina Fey; I am talking about women in roles of all kinds that are just mean, only feeling empowered by putting others down.
- Mean to their colleagues.
- Mean to their suppliers.
- Ultimately mean to themselves.
I am talking about that one woman that others try and avoid because a molehill often becomes a mountain, an epic battle brought on that Mean Girl getting upset because something wasn’t her idea, choice, decision and so on.
Mean Girls run rampant, especially in fashion, entertainment and anything that has “glamour” to it; but they can be found in any industry.
Mean Girls often feel threatened, it leads them to sabotage others, hindering group progress because of their own inability to be comfortable with the fact they cannot control everything.
Control is often at the the root of most actions of Mean Girls. But control is an illusion. The only constant in life is change, which is something one can never control. Ahhh, therein lies the rub!
- Fear of failure
- Fear of irrelevance.
- Fear of change.
- Fear of loss.
- Fear of exposure.
Fear…it is fear that drives actions of Mean Girls.
Darlings, put your fears aside. Embrace what you do not know.
- Stop being confrontational.
- Stop gossiping.
- Stop the bus.
- Stop your venom.
Work with peers and colleagues to learn. Grow together from the shared knowledge gained. Become a part of a team, put self interest on a shelf.
Sit in silence. Learn, grow. Yes, you will fall many times. Behavior is habit; it is the hardest change to make. Remember what we said about change? It is fluid and dynamic – the only thing we know for sure.
Maya Angelou said, “People will forget what you did for them, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”
It is time to stop being a Mean Girl. You are not only hurting your team, but you are destroying yourself. Seek to be compassionate instead of a tyrant.